My Valentine is BLUE!
I fell deeply and completely in love, never considering a “temperament” issue, before marrying my husband.
In fact, I had no idea what it meant to have a TEMPERAMENT. I was far more impressed with Duane’s deep green eyes, his bright orange ‘55 Chevy and the butterflies my stomach experienced every time he walked into the room. I was not concerned, in the least, about some pre-disposition with which he might have been born.
Of course, I knew we might have minuscule differences. However, I was confident “true love” would conquer all problems, IF they should happen at all.
I thought I knew everything about Duane. He loved God. He had been overseas during Viet Nam; so, we wrote letters for two years of our engagement. We also made tapes (preceding CDs) back and forth, full of questions and answers. When possible, we had phone calls – lasting hours – where we fell deeper in love with every whispered endearment.
Fifty days after he was discharged from the U.S. Army, we tied the knot. I had the wedding of my dreams. My life was perfect.
My fairy tale belief system lasted approximately 31 hours into our marriage. The third day of our honeymoon, I was stunned. We were SO different. How was this possible?
Duane is the kindest man on the earth and takes things seriously – every solitary thing, seriously. Take the price of gas, for instance, and driving miles off the beaten path to find a gas station with less expensive fuel. Who does that on his honeymoon?
He unpacked my three suitcases, and successfully re-packed all my things into two suitcases, to “make it easier for me?” I had no idea it had been difficult for me.
He thinks and re-thinks every situation, before and after it happens. Have you ever heard the term “analysis-paralysis?” This is a BLUE temperament tendency.
I, on the other hand, prefer to “shoot from the hip.” I would much rather DO something than think about or analyze it! (a YELLOW temperament tendency) and, I certainly don’t care how things are packed or how much gas costs.
I am giving you my YELLOW/RED perspective on being married to a BLUE/RED. Every person is a combination of two (from a total of four) temperaments. Usually one is more dominant at home, the other out of the home. Duane is more BLUE at home and definitely more RED at work. However, it is important to note, each temperament truly looks different, depending on the temperament of the observer! As I describe living with this BLUE/RED man, it is from my temperament’s perspective.
BLUES are loyal and dedicated beyond reasonable doubt. Duane is a thoughtful romantic. (That has saved him on countless occasions.) They are the best friend a person could ever have. BLUES run deep. BLUES rarely stop thinking.
Seriously, the differences in our temperaments have made for an exciting ride through this miracle of marriage. I thank God everyday for giving me the privilege of being married to my BLUE Valentine!
Over the past 20 years of serious study on temperaments, I have become a speaker, author, personal coach and an admittedly self-proclaimed temperament expert. I love the topic, and am fascinated with what makes humans so different.
Understanding temperaments helps with parenting, marriages, co-workers and family members.
To learn more about yourself, your valentine and the four temperaments, subscribe FREE to my blog www.kathleenchapman.com fill out your necessary info and I will give you my FREE eBook on understanding temperaments.
Now, I am compiling a series of perspectives from spouses of differing temperaments. I would love to hear from GREENS married to YELLOWS, REDS married to BLUES, YELLOWS married to REDS, BLUES married to GREENS etc.
Just shed some light on a typical day and include humor please! I am excitedly awaiting your emails!