Elastic Waistbands

Everywhere I look I see a mark left by certain temperaments. The deep, intellectual BLUEs get credit for scientific discoveries, or impactful Grammy Award winning songs, whereas the REDs of the world are the forceful leaders and CEOs of cutting-edge start-up companies.

While the exciting YELLOWs continue to entertain the masses, GREENs are more of a mystery.



GREENs love to be comfortable. In addition, they are the nicest, most comfortable people to be around in the world. GREENs love to wear comfortable shoes and comfortable clothes.

Our GREEN daughter, by age two, could not stand her socks to have a seam at her toes. Do you know how difficult it was to find children’s socks without seams a couple decades ago?

Now, I am undeniably convinced it had to be a GREEN who created the most wonderful invention of the last two centuries–the indispensable and irreplaceable elastic waistband.

I am thrilled that the New York runways are now full of cute fashions that include the expandable choices for today’s trendy consumer.

I was in a wedding last month as a matron of honor. There was, unfortunately, no elastic to be found in my dress. Did you know it IS possible to hold your stomach muscles taut for almost four hours without passing out?

Once seated at the reception, my silhouette lost its original statuesque appearance, so I unsuccessfully tried covering the offending area with a dinner napkin. Cloth napkins slide off linen fabric. Therefore, I tried two napkins. Nope.  Three worked as long as I remained perfectly still.

After dinner, I stood up, and realized the dress was much snugger than it had been during the ceremony. I went with haste to the ladies room. It was too late for Spanx. The evening was already half gone.

Then she walked in the restroom.

A perfect stranger but I am now certain she was a GREEN.

She noticed me struggling to stretch the dress around my torso, trying to look presentable in the restroom mirror. Without missing a beat, in a sweet soft-spoken voice, she said “My dear, you look beautiful, and what a lovely dress.” I sheepishly smiled and asked, “You don’t think it looks too tight?”  “Not at all, I think you look pretty enough to be in a wedding”!

I exhaled, humbly thanked her, and went back to the reception. Somehow, in fewer than three minutes, she helped me feel fine about myself, convinced me I had made a new friend and eventually caused me to realize I could re-join the wedding festivities.

It is difficult for a YELLOW, such as myself, to admit that everyone was actually looking at the bride anyway.

GREENs make the world such a nice, comfortable place in which to live.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • You mention your “first’s” thing about the seam at her toe. My friend asked me about something when I was talking to her about temperaments and that is “sensory issues”. Many kids today have “sensory issues”, which seems to be a neurological disorder . They can’t handle having their shoes off, having drops of water anywhere on them, having certain fabrics on their skin, not having a hat on, etc.. At first you’d think they were obsessive compulsive. Then you’d think they were out of control kids- throwing fits when these sensory issues arise. I have a friend who’s son’s autism became official after having an “event” where his sensory issues with water threw him into a beyond-extreme fit after going down a slide at the park that had water on it. The fit lasted hours and since that day he declined rapidly into diagnosable autism (I have to add that he was 6- not 2, and he had just received a vaccine the day before). My nephew isn’t this extreme, but he’s a red and goes NUTS about certain things like keeping his shoes on or having things certain ways. His mom doesn’t know how to discipline him because these things seem to be physically uncontrollable. I’m not asking about the health side of it, but how do you handle these things? (Maybe a future blog post?)

    • Lauren Merchian

      My daugther Penny is a Red, she FREAKS if we take anything off or don’t put on
      something she wants. She literally has a bedtime “order” that if not
      followed insures a meltdown. She has to be in control. I laugh, because
      it’s me in her. We do it, she has to have order, I understand the
      feeling from when I was little and even a teen of being denied the order
      I demanded. Many tears and tantrums flowed… It feels like the end of the world. When she is a little older I’m going to start showing her a way to “make do” should you be
      unable to have that demand met. That’s what my Nama did for me (also a
      Red) when things like this came up. It’s not perfect but it’s close
      enough to have kept me feeling in order. As far as discipline I spritz
      her with water. She HATES it, because it makes her shirt wet. (Something
      beyond anyones control to fix without a great deal of effort which we deny her) She doesn’t repete the action in most cases.

  • Shannon

    Thanks. So funny!

  • Harold Hunt

    Great Post

  • Shirley Bengtson

    I am the bride Kathleen talked about in this blog. Kathleen was gorgeous in her lime green fitted dress which was accented by her red hair and lovely complexion. Her beauty attracted many an eye of those who attended the wedding–not just the bride.