Elastic Waistbands

Everywhere I look I see a mark left by certain temperaments. The deep, intellectual BLUEs get credit for scientific discoveries, or impactful Grammy Award winning songs, whereas the REDs of the world are the forceful leaders and CEOs of cutting-edge start-up companies.

While the exciting YELLOWs continue to entertain the masses, GREENs are more of a mystery.

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GREENs love to be comfortable. In addition, they are the nicest, most comfortable people to be around in the world. GREENs love to wear comfortable shoes and comfortable clothes.

Our GREEN daughter, by age two, could not stand her socks to have a seam at her toes. Do you know how difficult it was to find children’s socks without seams a couple decades ago?

Now, I am undeniably convinced it had to be a GREEN who created the most wonderful invention of the last two centuries–the indispensable and irreplaceable elastic waistband.

I am thrilled that the New York runways are now full of cute fashions that include the expandable choices for today’s trendy consumer.

I was in a wedding last month as a matron of honor. There was, unfortunately, no elastic to be found in my dress. Did you know it IS possible to hold your stomach muscles taut for almost four hours without passing out?

Once seated at the reception, my silhouette lost its original statuesque appearance, so I unsuccessfully tried covering the offending area with a dinner napkin. Cloth napkins slide off linen fabric. Therefore, I tried two napkins. Nope.  Three worked as long as I remained perfectly still.

After dinner, I stood up, and realized the dress was much snugger than it had been during the ceremony. I went with haste to the ladies room. It was too late for Spanx. The evening was already half gone.

Then she walked in the restroom.

A perfect stranger but I am now certain she was a GREEN.

She noticed me struggling to stretch the dress around my torso, trying to look presentable in the restroom mirror. Without missing a beat, in a sweet soft-spoken voice, she said “My dear, you look beautiful, and what a lovely dress.” I sheepishly smiled and asked, “You don’t think it looks too tight?”  “Not at all, I think you look pretty enough to be in a wedding”!

I exhaled, humbly thanked her, and went back to the reception. Somehow, in fewer than three minutes, she helped me feel fine about myself, convinced me I had made a new friend and eventually caused me to realize I could re-join the wedding festivities.

It is difficult for a YELLOW, such as myself, to admit that everyone was actually looking at the bride anyway.

GREENs make the world such a nice, comfortable place in which to live.

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