The study of human temperament began long before my wedding day (as shocked as our kids may be to hear this). The Greek physician Hippocrates (460–370 BC) incorporated four temperaments into his medical theories.
I am certain my total fascination with temperaments began within 48 hours of our wedding ceremony. Let me explain.
My fiancé had safely returned from the Viet Nam conflict 50 days prior to our nuptials. He had been gone 24 months. Though we had dated for four years, we had never lived in the same area longer than a couple of months during our courtship. So, 48 hours into our honeymoon, I was thinking, “Who is this man I married, and why don’t I recognize him?”
Let me set the scene …
We honeymooned, overlooking the spectacular Pacific Ocean (insert magnificent picture here). It was so romantic! However, suddenly, my groom wanted to talk about Five Year Projections and our financial future.
Mind you, I was a breathtakingly beautiful and fascinating child bride. I was naïve and YELLOW enough to have dreamed of a honeymoon filled with long romantic walks on the beach, hours of gazing into each others’ eyes and other things of which romance novels are made!
I wanted fun!
My husband’s idea of fun was strategically compiling wedding gifts into calculated-sized shelves, aligned perfectly in his newly-built pantry.
I wanted passion!
There is no one more passionate than my husband–when he finds a shortcut to Home Depot.
I wanted friends and parties galore!
My husband does not need anyone but me. He has said this a thousand times to date. The only party he attends, ungrudgingly, celebrates the Super Bowl.
It is fascinating that I love this man so much despite our differences.
My husband’s temperament is polar opposite of mine. Once I began to understand the unique diversity between the two of us, it was so much easier to enjoy our marriage.
Oh yes, we did take those romantic walks along the seashore. He allotted time for that on Day 3.
Question: Having any communication differences in your marriage?