Every 8 Years I Change Husbands

I am on husband number five.

When Duane and I married, the counseling was minimal. Prior to our wedding, our family pastor met with us to lock in details and give a few words of pastoral advice. I was not warned I would have several husbands over the course of a lifetime.


Perhaps, that was wise because I’m not certain of my reaction had he told me the truth. Looking back, it is crystal clear to me how marriage works. I now have a more realistic approach. I suggest you take notes.

My first husband, Duane, was a risk taker! Our first eight years, we lived in four different locations, buying three homes. What a fun ride.

Every place was better than the previous. By the time I had decorated each house, it was time to move on and up to the next home. We had three babies in four years. Life was good. My first marriage was extremely successful.

Then, Duane bought a cabinet shop and became a stranger. We rarely saw him. He worked 60 to 70 hours a week.

Enter husband number two, also Duane, the workaholic. The marriage was successful only because a few faithful friends prayed and counseled me. Not fun. Fortunately, we stayed in one house.  All three kids were in school.  I kept busy writing, cutting hair and acting as chief taxi driver for the kids’ activities. This was my least favorite marriage.

Husband three, Duane, suffered the loss of two businesses and our home because of a trusted bookkeeper’s embezzlement. We were forced to move. All of this, threw him into a depression lasting our entire third marriage. Not fun either. Enter a big God. It’s a funny thing about faith. One can tell the real thing when the going gets tough. We spent our third marriage on our knees. In spite of the tumultuous years, our kids finished school, left home and happily married. This was, by far, the most difficult marriage.

Husband number four, Duane, was a refreshing break. He reminded me more of my first husband. We moved again; but, it was more of an adventure – like in the beginning. We knocked down walls and decorated the house. My new husband was full of surprises. My mom broke her neck, came to live with us, and Duane was an amazing caregiver. He could cook too! Wow! I felt like I struck gold! I didn’t want this marriage to end.

However, husband five came along. His name is Duane. He is romantic, Godly, and the most remarkable Grandpa on the earth. He is absolutely irresistible. Not only does he cook, clean, help with the laundry and take me on dates, he also watches Hallmark Christmas movies with me! Yes, stay away ladies, he is all mine.

My advice to married couples: Marriage is far more than a lifetime with one person. Look closer. Enjoy each season – each spouse. I guarantee it will be worth the wait.

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