Determined to Break My Addiction

Last week, my laptop slipped from my fingers 18 inches from our concrete driveway – CRASH!

I wanted to throw up. My husband says I’m over dramatic but I am telling the truth when I say, “My life passed before my eyes.”


I hurried inside and plugged it in. The screen colors came up instantly, whew, it was okay. Seconds later, the screen went black with a bunch of white letters. Nausea hit again. Then, the screen went totally blank. I re-booted. Still black screen white letters.

I’m embarrassed to admit my first thought was to NOT tell Duane I had dropped it. I called him upstairs to my office to fix it, because Duane fixes everything.

He asked, “Did you knock it into anything?” Standing behind him so he could not actually see my face, I innocently answered, “Knocked into something? Not really.”

The man has lived with me too long. He turned around and asked, “What happened?”

“I am so sorry,” I blurted out, tearfully re-telling the incident in exact details.

My laptop holds a colossal part of my life. I am a writer, blogger, teacher, speaker, mom -with kids across the world requiring emails – and, connected to all news through the Internet. I even do my Bible reading on this machine. I cannot function without it.

Our budget for a new laptop is…zip.

The next few days were a blur. I used it an hour here and there. It would work for a few minutes, then black screen, white letters. I was a wreck.

Over dramatic?  I have a musical theatre show opening next weekend. I’m paralyzed!

Finally, fearing having to refinance our house, we took my computer to be repaired.

I decided to clean the bathrooms. What do you do when your world falls apart?

Wait. Did I just say that out loud?

Never did I think my life would be assessed by a functioning 10 X 15 box with wires.

I need some perspective here:

I just received an email from a young family losing their 34-year-old daddy to cancer.

Out of 50 kids in my upcoming play, 20 don’t even have dads. Statistics claim, 10 of them are being abused. Another 5 have learning disabilities, and 3 suffer from malnutrition.

I have it so good.

One day—and $50—later, my computer is fixed. I am here finishing this post.

I have a fresh outlook I didn’t have last week.

From this day forward, I want new priorities. I will spend more time with those I love. I will invest in those around me and exercise gratitude on a regular basis. I am going to break my addiction to this box. Yes, I am actually experiencing withdrawals as I finish.

Can anyone identify?

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