Have you ever wondered how it is possible to birth children who are so completely unlike either of their parents?
Our daughter does not care if she travels outside the house without mascara. Our eldest son likes to go authentic camping and our other son enjoys four wheeling where humans dare to tread.
This is nothing like their father or me.
We have three kids. The first is nearly perfect, and yet surprisingly resembles both of us. The next two are wonderful, definitely a combo of mom and dad, but also so completely different from each other and their sister. This human quandary is called temperament.
There are four basic temperaments and every human fundamentally embodies a combination of two of the four in their personality.
A temperament is a predisposition and simply means you are born like this. Your kids are born like this. Stop blaming your spouse for an undesirable trait you see in one of your kids. They come out like this on purpose!
Now, understandably, this is why God designed children to have parents. Parents take the predispositions of their children and carefully help them with guidelines, instructions, choices and nurture as they grow.
I wish I’d understood this truth when our kids were young. I had discovered the temperaments for adults, but never did it enter my mind that this amazing knowledge could be used to understand children on a slightly distinctive level.
We have the sweetest daughter on the earth. There is such a sweetness to her personality, we didn’t notice when she passively aggressively disobeyed a rule or direction we had issued until sometimes days later! That is a secret of her temperament.
Her one brother is just the opposite! We knew IMMEDIATELY if he did not agree with our orders, and he could dissolve into horrifying sobs that would cause anyone within hearing distance to suspect abuse on our part! The third child simply and calmly would explain to us why we were wrong. WHEW!
Parenting requires a huge amount of time, patience, education and commitment. Learning about the four temperament traits can save hours of stress and confusion. It will clear up so many unanswered questions in day-to-day situations!
I LOVE teaching on the subject and I also love to answer questions from my readers. Let me hear from you! Or use the comment feature below.