YELLOWS Just Want to Have FUN!

Weekly, I speak on the Four Temperaments and – invariably – am asked, “Can you describe each temperament in one sentence?”

Here goes: REDS will HELP you do it RIGHT…IMMEDIATELY!

YELLOWS just want to have FUN and FRIENDS.

BLUES are PLANNERS, who care VERY DEEPLY.

GREENS are the NICEST, who love PEACE and QUIET.

Done. Of course there is SO much more to each temperament, because each has its strengths and weaknesses. Also, the same temperaments can look different considering the age, gender, background and, sometimes, special physical challenges of each person.

Let’s focus on YELLOWS for a moment.  I guarantee each YELLOW person wants FUN in his/her life.

This is also obvious in very young YELLOWS. Our YELLOW granddaughter has never missed attending a birthday party to which she has been invited. Actually, she has been known to invite herself to parties and, sadly, has had to learn not everyone in the world wants to meet her.

REDS Just Want to Help!

Of the four temperaments, I think REDS most often get a bad rap. Since this is my second temperament, I feel responsible to point out some great RED characteristics which may be sadly misunderstood by the general population.

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Charles Schultz captures this temperament in the character of Lucy Van Pelt, from the Peanuts and Gang cartoon series. Charlie Brown’s dear friend, Lucy is characterized as strong, somewhat stubborn with a bossy personality. However, she is very bright and deep down has a soft side when it comes to those she loves.

Our RED granddaughter has potential, strength, spunk, and self confidence enough to be a future President of the United States – all this at 11 years old. The fact that she has fiery red hair is an added bonus. RED children are strong kids.

WHY Does NO have Such a Bad Rap?

I was speaking last week to a group of young moms of pre-schoolers (MOPS). After I finished, a young woman came up to question my philosophy of teaching children the meaning of the word NO before they are a year old. I suggest consequences to make a small toddler obey his/her parents. Usually, it takes only two or three events before you have an obedient, respectful child!

No more yelling, threats, punishments or guilt.

This young mom had tears in her eyes as she described her 3-year old daughter as an adorable, fun-loving child to whom she has never given consequences. She has never told her NO because she doesn’t need to. “My little girl doesn’t obey me all the time; but, I honestly don’t think she understands it is disobeying. I would never want to squelch her free, creative spirit.”

I asked if her daughter comes when she calls her name. “Well, sometimes,” she smiled as though it was funny, “But, she is an absolute joy.”

I asked if she would respond to her mom’s voice in an emergency- maybe a warning about a hot stove, an oncoming car or a stranger who would attempt to grab her?

Her eyes widened…

Can Your Temperament CHANGE?

“Is it possible my TEENAGER’S temperament has changed?”

My first response: “A temperament is a pre-disposition.  A person is born with primarily two dominant temperament types (out of four) – and they are his/hers for life.”

A temperament can certainly take on different appearances, however, depending on age, living conditions, changes in life and various situations. The temperament does not change. BUT, one may notice new behavior, because circumstances have changed.

The most important information to remember-temperaments are transformed when you include God in the equation!

Each temperament has positive and negative characteristics.  So, when God takes over a temperament, He evens out the negatives and enhances the positives, using their finest qualities for His Glory. God created us, and our temperaments; therefore, it makes perfect sense to give Him the reigns if we want successful lives!

The mom, who prompted this post, asked me, “Now that my sweet daughter is a teenager, she is suddenly belligerent! She has turned into a totally different person. She refuses to talk to, or acknowledge, me or her dad because we have new cell phone rules in the house! Has her temperament changed?”

GOT KIDS?

I love kids.  They fascinate me.

We were surrounded by kids this past weekend. We love it when our ten grandchildren are together in our home; but, this time there were three young cousins in the mix. Our nephew, and his family of five from Sacramento, was visiting also.

 

I have been tempted to set up a video surveillance camera system for occasions such as this to prove my “temperament” assessments as you watch thirteen children interact.

Out of four total temperaments, the two strongest are RED and YELLOW. They are most recognizable by being loud, bossy and in charge. We had seven, out of 13, in this category.

The remaining six are BLUE and GREEN. They assist, cooperate and enjoy following the leaders. These adorable kids seemed to enjoy the louder ones – each one letting the others BE who they are! (One, at 10 months, appears to be a quiet, sweet, happy GREEN.)

I wish I had been more aware of temperaments when our children were young. It certainly would have been easier to parent them. Our three kids have a combination of all four temperaments.

Temperaments: GREEN EMOTIONS!

You have heard me say GREEN temperaments are the nicest people in the world. It is the truest statement that can be made about this temperament! They are nice and quiet.

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I am blessed with a GREEN child, children-in-law, grandchildren, friends and BEST friends. I gravitate toward GREEN temperaments, because, they seem to enjoy life more that most. GREENS also calm me down and fill me with peace in crazy situations.

My dad was a GREEN temperament.  In my entire life, he never raised his voice to me!  I guarantee you, I gave him plenty of reasons to do so; but, he was the kindest person I ever knew.

Temperaments: YELLOW EMOTIONS!

Hang on, this segment will be a wild ride explaining the YELLOW temperament’s EMOTIONS!

The two strongest and loudest temperaments are RED and YELLOW.  We discussed the RED, in my last post.  Now, I will attempt to portray the YELLOW’s emotions – being as impartial as possible.

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I am a YELLOW/RED.

A YELLOW’S emotions go WAY up, then WAY down, then sideways and back up again! That describes how I feel some mornings before getting out of bed!

YELLOWS are vivaciously expressive. They enjoy life to the fullest. YELLOWS usually wear their emotions on their sleeves- being the most dramatically animated temperament of all four. When emotions are up, they hope the world will join in their celebrations.  When emotions are down, they expect the world to feel their pain as severely as they!

YELLOWS equal DRAMA!

Temperaments: RED EMOTIONS

RED temperaments are, out of four human temperaments, the ones most accused of being “emotionless!” REDS accomplish much in this life! If they would only slow down a bit and smell the proverbial roses- they might show an emotion or two, and become accessible.

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The RED temperament is smart, strong and focused. REDS are the presidents of companies and governments. They are CEOs, CEFs, CFOs and CEGs. (You get my point)REDS are also brash, aloof, abrasive, gruff, bossy, always right and uninvolved…and, with a loud temper or short fuse.

If you have RED in your temperament, you are blessed with amazing leadership qualities and enough energy to succeed at whatever you attempt.

Temperaments: BLUE Emotions!

I loved hearing about my dad’s growing up years in small town, Lyons, Nebraska. I loved hearing about the general store his dad had owned. (My grandfather I never met.) He talked about the downtown red brick streets and his mom (my grandmother) who was the high school English teacher and the Post Mistress of the Post Office.

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Dad was an amazing story teller of memories.

My dad was all heart. Traditions were important to him. His predominantly BLUE temperament was obvious to all who knew him. Dad loved God. He was the number one man in my life as far back as I remember. I compared every boyfriend to him. Each one always came up short- until I met Duane, also a predominantly BLUE temperament.

BLUES are the most sensitive of all four temperaments. They have a difficult time letting go of unpleasant memories, but quickly enjoy making new ones. Emotionally, they run the deepest of all four temperaments.

My sister, also predominantly BLUE, explains it this way, “Traditions are more than just events. To a BLUE, traditions are about people. Holidays, reunions, birthday parties are very fun – but pretty much empty rooms – without people to celebrate. We are not so much interested in the ambiance as the people.”

Regarding kids, she remembered- “little BLUES care about connections made during special occasions.  Adults involved can actually play a part in making the little BLUE into the person he/she will become. These events can also be scary to BLUE children if no one takes the time to connect with them, to acknowledge they are there. Little BLUES will disappear into the woodwork if told to stay back and be quiet.”

My sister finished by pointing out, “Things are connected to memories – which are connected to people.”

I didn’t know very much about temperaments when we first married. I did, however, recognize that I (YELLOW) was more interested in lavishly decorating and preparing for a party than Duane. Once the guests arrived, Duane would visit with the people he enjoyed.

He also would remember every conversation he had after the event was over – especially, rehashing things he wished he had said differently. BLUES have an uncanny ability to remember moments in their past and, positive or otherwise, enjoy sharing their memories with those they love.

A personal note: YELLOWS crash when each party is over, convinced it was far better than the last- and deflated until the next event is on the horizon!  Ambience is EVERYTHING to a YELLOW! “Rehashing” is not in our vocabulary.

BLUES are the best friends to have – loyal, trustworthy, honest and true. I have heard BLUE husbands are the least likely ever to be unfaithful. BLUES are born with a moral compass: right or wrong, black or white.  They have great respect for integrity in others.

BLUES, though often quiet, are recognized by how intensely they attack any project. They tend to be perfectionists, and can be harder on themselves than others are on them. They have the ability to focus tightly on a project and set high standards, for themselves, to see it through.

For emotional growth, BLUES need appreciation for thinking projects through and for their quality work. They love to be appreciated for simply being responsible. They need acceptance, stability, security and to belong.  Because, of his/her fragile self image, a BLUE is nurtured by praise and appreciation. Encourage them away from negativity.

BLUES are great planners and organizers. Since they need help overcoming negativity, structure and organization are critical.  They will adhere to a well thought out, and clearly stated, calendar.  Details are important to them.

If you have a BLUE in your life, you are truly blessed. They are dependable, gentle giants. It is extremely important to treasure those BLUES – and say so- because, they WILL remember!

Perfect scripture for a BLUE, Psalm 32:1,2 & 10,11. (The Message)

“Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be—you get a fresh start, your slate’s wiped clean.

 Count yourself lucky—God holds nothing against you and you’re holding nothing back from him.

God-defiers are always in trouble; God-affirmers find themselves loved every time they turn around.

 Celebrate God. Sing together—everyone! All you honest hearts, raise the roof!”