Are You CRITICAL?

The BLUE Temperament has so many positive traits. One has to look hard to discover an area that needs work. Positive traits, as wonderful as they are, take no effort, no energy and no growing on the behalf of their owners.

BLUES are extremely serious and conscientious, wanting life to be meaningful. BLUES are the planners. BLUES make the best and most loyal friends. These are the people you see reading books in some corner. Usually, they are the more intelligent – deeper and most excellent learners – of all the Temperaments. They are notorious for being hard on themselves because of the perfectionist aspect of their Temperament. This very fact causes them to be critical in all other areas of life as well.

I have a BLUE sister, husband, kids, grandkids, friends and co-workers. They are loyal, honest, diligent and trustworthy. You cannot find a better friend than a BLUE (melancholy) Temperament.

However, try watching a movie with them…

Do You TALK Too Much?

When I was a teen, there was a popular song by Joe Jones entitled,

“You Talk Too Much:”

“You talk too much, You worry me to death You talk too much, You even worry my pet

You just talk, talk, talk Talk too much

You talk about people, That you don’t know You talk about people, Wherever you go

You just talk too much!”

Have I mentioned my Temperament is half YELLOW?

YELLOWS are fun and delightful; but, one blatant negative is their need to TALK. YELLOWS love people, need friends and by nature TALK easily.

My mouth has gotten me in more trouble, in my lifetime, than anything else.

Are You SELFISH?

We all know folks whom we would consider to be tight or cheap with their money. This is not the same as being SELFISH.

SELFISH is defined as (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.  This is one of those quiet, deadly sins that sneak up in our lives without much notice at first.

About a month ago, I was shopping in a relatively new store in our city, a type of décor shop where you can purchase items to decorate your home.

An interesting conversation took place next to me. Two nice friends were discussing a 3rd person’s dilemma of owning a new home and not having a clue as to how to decorate it.

One of the ladies said, “Why don’t you help her? You are a professional decorator and she would absolutely love your help.” To which the woman sweetly replied, “No thanks.”

The conversation escalated, “Come on, why won’t you help her a little? It won’t cost you anything; and, I bet she would pay you.”  The woman sweetly said, “Please drop it, too much effort.”

The story gets better:

ARE YOU RUDE?

Okay, try something.  To the next person you meet today, simply smile and say, “Have a nice day.”  Notice what happens.

My Temperament has an abrupt side to it. I am half RED. Of the four human temperaments, one is more easily RUDE. (To read up on the Temperaments, subscribe to my blog and download my FREE eBook on Temperaments.)

While pushing my cart through the grocery store the other day, I was suddenly bumped from behind by a woman half my age. Immediately, I said, “Excuse me,” as I pulled over- even though it hadn’t been my fault. The woman quickly turned toward me as she walked by, asking, “What did you just say?” I repeated, “I said, ‘Excuse me.’ ” She grunted as she mumbled, “That better be what you said.”

I was stunned. What did she mean? Was she angry with me? That 5 second encounter left a mark!  “I bet she is RED,” I thought to myself!

GREENS Just Want Peace and Quiet

GREENS are NICE and PEACEFUL. They are actually the nicest people you will meet in the world.

If you know someone who seems too nice to be true, you have met a GREEN temperament.

Consistently kind, GREENS make the world a better place. Those with this incredibly nice, peaceful temperament are the real deal.

My brother-in-law married into our family about 40 years ago. From day one, he was the nicest guy I’d ever met. We are a rather loud, vocal family, and I worried how he would adjust. He never had to raise his voice to make a point, or get his opinion across, at family gatherings. I asked my sister if he was like this at home. “What you see is what you get; yes, he is always remarkably calm!” Her smile convinced me she was telling the truth!

To this day, Glenn has been true to the GREEN reputation. He is a peacekeeper who values warm, personal relationships. He is independent, reflective, reliable, steady and NICE. GREENS are good listeners and clear thinkers- but do not usually give advice unless they are asked.

GREENS strive to avoid conflict and confrontation at all costs. Controversy is a peacekeeper’s nightmare. So, to avoid it, they often keep their mouths shut, refraining from voicing objections or opinions. They are content when life is on an even keel and things are running smoothly.

GREENS are well-rounded individuals who are not prone to extremes.

The GREEN temperament is also simple to identify in children. Let me give you an example:

 

BLUES Just Want to Think

My son-in-law, Bob, challenged me to compare temperament colors to cartoon characters in Winnie the Pooh collection of children’s stories.

How perfect for this post on the BLUE temperament. Pooh Bear is a perfect BLUE!

winnie_the_pooh

“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together…there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think but the most important thing is, even if we’re apart…I’ll always be with you.”  ~ Winnie the Pooh

The deepest of all the temperaments is the BLUE. No, this is not my conclusion. It is the joint conclusion of every authority on temperaments dating back decades upon decades. BLUES are the thinkers, planners and deepest feelers of the world.

YELLOWS Just Want to Have FUN!

Weekly, I speak on the Four Temperaments and – invariably – am asked, “Can you describe each temperament in one sentence?”

Here goes: REDS will HELP you do it RIGHT…IMMEDIATELY!

YELLOWS just want to have FUN and FRIENDS.

BLUES are PLANNERS, who care VERY DEEPLY.

GREENS are the NICEST, who love PEACE and QUIET.

Done. Of course there is SO much more to each temperament, because each has its strengths and weaknesses. Also, the same temperaments can look different considering the age, gender, background and, sometimes, special physical challenges of each person.

Let’s focus on YELLOWS for a moment.  I guarantee each YELLOW person wants FUN in his/her life.

This is also obvious in very young YELLOWS. Our YELLOW granddaughter has never missed attending a birthday party to which she has been invited. Actually, she has been known to invite herself to parties and, sadly, has had to learn not everyone in the world wants to meet her.

REDS Just Want to Help!

Of the four temperaments, I think REDS most often get a bad rap. Since this is my second temperament, I feel responsible to point out some great RED characteristics which may be sadly misunderstood by the general population.

Lucy_van_Pelt

Charles Schultz captures this temperament in the character of Lucy Van Pelt, from the Peanuts and Gang cartoon series. Charlie Brown’s dear friend, Lucy is characterized as strong, somewhat stubborn with a bossy personality. However, she is very bright and deep down has a soft side when it comes to those she loves.

Our RED granddaughter has potential, strength, spunk, and self confidence enough to be a future President of the United States – all this at 11 years old. The fact that she has fiery red hair is an added bonus. RED children are strong kids.

WHY Does NO have Such a Bad Rap?

I was speaking last week to a group of young moms of pre-schoolers (MOPS). After I finished, a young woman came up to question my philosophy of teaching children the meaning of the word NO before they are a year old. I suggest consequences to make a small toddler obey his/her parents. Usually, it takes only two or three events before you have an obedient, respectful child!

No more yelling, threats, punishments or guilt.

This young mom had tears in her eyes as she described her 3-year old daughter as an adorable, fun-loving child to whom she has never given consequences. She has never told her NO because she doesn’t need to. “My little girl doesn’t obey me all the time; but, I honestly don’t think she understands it is disobeying. I would never want to squelch her free, creative spirit.”

I asked if her daughter comes when she calls her name. “Well, sometimes,” she smiled as though it was funny, “But, she is an absolute joy.”

I asked if she would respond to her mom’s voice in an emergency- maybe a warning about a hot stove, an oncoming car or a stranger who would attempt to grab her?

Her eyes widened…

Can Your Temperament CHANGE?

“Is it possible my TEENAGER’S temperament has changed?”

My first response: “A temperament is a pre-disposition.  A person is born with primarily two dominant temperament types (out of four) – and they are his/hers for life.”

A temperament can certainly take on different appearances, however, depending on age, living conditions, changes in life and various situations. The temperament does not change. BUT, one may notice new behavior, because circumstances have changed.

The most important information to remember-temperaments are transformed when you include God in the equation!

Each temperament has positive and negative characteristics.  So, when God takes over a temperament, He evens out the negatives and enhances the positives, using their finest qualities for His Glory. God created us, and our temperaments; therefore, it makes perfect sense to give Him the reigns if we want successful lives!

The mom, who prompted this post, asked me, “Now that my sweet daughter is a teenager, she is suddenly belligerent! She has turned into a totally different person. She refuses to talk to, or acknowledge, me or her dad because we have new cell phone rules in the house! Has her temperament changed?”