What is your true PASSION in life? I have heard it said, if you spend your life doing what you are PASSIONATE about- you’ll never have to work one day!
Most of my life has been spent working with kids. Kids theatre, kids ministry and teaching church school. I love working with kids. I figured working with kids was my passion.
However, I have a dark secret. A secret I have struggled with for decades and finally I need to come clean.
Over the years, I have had a love/hate relationship with ‘Vacation Bible School’. I dread it every summer. Summertime Vacation Bible Schools’ are intentionally geared to engaging kids for a fun week, with a goal of reaching young hearts for Jesus.
So what has been my struggle with VBS these past decades?
This summer, our older Musical Theatre camp, is presenting:
Every summer, for over 35 years, I have produced Christian theatre for kids. I also do secular shows, during the school year, for various public school districts. And, no, I do not do kids theatre because of the money. (This is truly a Laugh Out Loud moment.)
Performing on a stage – in front of an audience – can be seriously life changing for a child. If it is a bad experience, the child may never be persuaded to return to a stage for the remainder of his or her life.
However, if it is a good and positive experience, it can be a moment of overwhelming discovery for the child. Kids feel empowered, self confident, comfortable in their skin, proud, thankful, appreciated and loved when the audience applauds their work! They also develop comfortable skills, associated with performing in any capacity, as they grow older. Theatre is an investment that keeps on growing and giving.
I remember my first actual play…
GREENS are NICE and PEACEFUL. They are actually the nicest people you will meet in the world.
If you know someone who seems too nice to be true, you have met a GREEN temperament.
Consistently kind, GREENS make the world a better place. Those with this incredibly nice, peaceful temperament are the real deal.
My brother-in-law married into our family about 40 years ago. From day one, he was the nicest guy I’d ever met. We are a rather loud, vocal family, and I worried how he would adjust. He never had to raise his voice to make a point, or get his opinion across, at family gatherings. I asked my sister if he was like this at home. “What you see is what you get; yes, he is always remarkably calm!” Her smile convinced me she was telling the truth!
To this day, Glenn has been true to the GREEN reputation. He is a peacekeeper who values warm, personal relationships. He is independent, reflective, reliable, steady and NICE. GREENS are good listeners and clear thinkers- but do not usually give advice unless they are asked.
GREENS strive to avoid conflict and confrontation at all costs. Controversy is a peacekeeper’s nightmare. So, to avoid it, they often keep their mouths shut, refraining from voicing objections or opinions. They are content when life is on an even keel and things are running smoothly.
GREENS are well-rounded individuals who are not prone to extremes.
The GREEN temperament is also simple to identify in children. Let me give you an example:
I was speaking last week to a group of young moms of pre-schoolers (MOPS). After I finished, a young woman came up to question my philosophy of teaching children the meaning of the word NO before they are a year old. I suggest consequences to make a small toddler obey his/her parents. Usually, it takes only two or three events before you have an obedient, respectful child!
No more yelling, threats, punishments or guilt.
This young mom had tears in her eyes as she described her 3-year old daughter as an adorable, fun-loving child to whom she has never given consequences. She has never told her NO because she doesn’t need to. “My little girl doesn’t obey me all the time; but, I honestly don’t think she understands it is disobeying. I would never want to squelch her free, creative spirit.”
I asked if her daughter comes when she calls her name. “Well, sometimes,” she smiled as though it was funny, “But, she is an absolute joy.”
I asked if she would respond to her mom’s voice in an emergency- maybe a warning about a hot stove, an oncoming car or a stranger who would attempt to grab her?
Her eyes widened…
“Is it possible my TEENAGER’S temperament has changed?”
My first response: “A temperament is a pre-disposition. A person is born with primarily two dominant temperament types (out of four) – and they are his/hers for life.”
A temperament can certainly take on different appearances, however, depending on age, living conditions, changes in life and various situations. The temperament does not change. BUT, one may notice new behavior, because circumstances have changed.
The most important information to remember-temperaments are transformed when you include God in the equation!
Each temperament has positive and negative characteristics. So, when God takes over a temperament, He evens out the negatives and enhances the positives, using their finest qualities for His Glory. God created us, and our temperaments; therefore, it makes perfect sense to give Him the reigns if we want successful lives!
The mom, who prompted this post, asked me, “Now that my sweet daughter is a teenager, she is suddenly belligerent! She has turned into a totally different person. She refuses to talk to, or acknowledge, me or her dad because we have new cell phone rules in the house! Has her temperament changed?”
One of “my kids,” who grew up in musical theatre as a small child, made a point to say good-bye to me the weekend he left for college. I was leaving church, out the side door to make a quick getaway, and he surprised me with a big hug as I came around the corner.
“I knew I’d see you if I came to this side door, he smiled, “You always went out this way when you were in a rush to leave church.”
“Seriously? You knew that about me?”
“Yes,” he said, almost blushing as he stood over 6 feet tall now. “Miss Kathleen, you were my favorite teacher. I watched every move you made for most the years I was growing up in this church.”
Hoping he had no stalker tendencies, I questioned, “Can I ask you why?”
“Sure, because you were one of the people who I knew loved me; and, I watched everything you did.”
Whoa. I never knew that.
The rest of that afternoon I walked around the house, doing my Sunday afternoon routine stuff, wondering what ELSE he might have seen me do.
I love kids. They fascinate me.
We were surrounded by kids this past weekend. We love it when our ten grandchildren are together in our home; but, this time there were three young cousins in the mix. Our nephew, and his family of five from Sacramento, was visiting also.
I have been tempted to set up a video surveillance camera system for occasions such as this to prove my “temperament” assessments as you watch thirteen children interact.
Out of four total temperaments, the two strongest are RED and YELLOW. They are most recognizable by being loud, bossy and in charge. We had seven, out of 13, in this category.
The remaining six are BLUE and GREEN. They assist, cooperate and enjoy following the leaders. These adorable kids seemed to enjoy the louder ones – each one letting the others BE who they are! (One, at 10 months, appears to be a quiet, sweet, happy GREEN.)
I wish I had been more aware of temperaments when our children were young. It certainly would have been easier to parent them. Our three kids have a combination of all four temperaments.
Hang on, this segment will be a wild ride explaining the YELLOW temperament’s EMOTIONS!
The two strongest and loudest temperaments are RED and YELLOW. We discussed the RED, in my last post. Now, I will attempt to portray the YELLOW’s emotions – being as impartial as possible.
I am a YELLOW/RED.
A YELLOW’S emotions go WAY up, then WAY down, then sideways and back up again! That describes how I feel some mornings before getting out of bed!
YELLOWS are vivaciously expressive. They enjoy life to the fullest. YELLOWS usually wear their emotions on their sleeves- being the most dramatically animated temperament of all four. When emotions are up, they hope the world will join in their celebrations. When emotions are down, they expect the world to feel their pain as severely as they!
YELLOWS equal DRAMA!
In this episode of the Real FAMILY Podcast, Roz and Kathleen Chapman are continuing the conversation about tantrums and misbehavior (at any age). If you missed Part 1, check it out here.
Every parent has experienced that moment of pure frustration and said, (or wanted to say)”THIS IS THE HARDEST STINKIN’ JOB IN THE WORLD- AND I DON’T EVEN GET PAID!!
These moments are not usually simultaneous with warm fuzzy times with your children. These moments typically occur during or shortly after a TANTRUM (Or something as traumatic) as you frantically search the kitchen for chocolate. Or ice cream. Or whatever is strong enough to ease the stress of feeling like you’re doing everything WRONG!
Today young mom, Roz, and I are taking on this wonderful subject: TANTRUMS AND MISBEHAVIOR AT ANY AGE.
This topic is too important to cover in just one podcast. This is part one of this topic, covering…