Are You SELFISH?

We all know folks whom we would consider to be tight or cheap with their money. This is not the same as being SELFISH.

SELFISH is defined as (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.  This is one of those quiet, deadly sins that sneak up in our lives without much notice at first.

About a month ago, I was shopping in a relatively new store in our city, a type of décor shop where you can purchase items to decorate your home.

An interesting conversation took place next to me. Two nice friends were discussing a 3rd person’s dilemma of owning a new home and not having a clue as to how to decorate it.

One of the ladies said, “Why don’t you help her? You are a professional decorator and she would absolutely love your help.” To which the woman sweetly replied, “No thanks.”

The conversation escalated, “Come on, why won’t you help her a little? It won’t cost you anything; and, I bet she would pay you.”  The woman sweetly said, “Please drop it, too much effort.”

The story gets better:

My Results are IN!

For my Mother’s Day gift, I sent away (six weeks ago) to Ancestry.com for my DNA results, curious as to my ancestors’ beginnings.

I discovered I am 39% Dutch, 25% British, 25% Irish, 8% Scandinavian and 2% Jewish! I knew I was mostly Dutch; but, it is fun to see the extent of my grandparents’ and great grandparents’ history.

Of course, I immediately identified with Audrey Hepburn, a famous actress, who was also Dutch! I’m certain we are cousins! Look at the resemblance!

Born Audrey Kathleen Ruston, (did you know her middle name was Kathleen?) did you know Audrey was inducted into the International Best Dressed List Hall of Fame? She loved performing and looking fabulous.

Ah, the similarities between us are mind boggling!

I enjoyed finding out about some other distant cousins: Franklin D. Roosevelt and Theodore Roosevelt – both of Dutch decent and both Presidents of the U. S.!

Do you remember Martin Van Buren, the eighth President of the United States, and the first president who was not of English, Irish, or Scottish descent? Dutch was spoken in his house when he was a boy.

Thomas Edison, also Dutch, was an inventor and businessman.  Another Dutchman, Walter Cronkite, became a CBS Evening News anchor. Perhaps, my creative and inquiring mind comes from such as these?

Vincent van Gogh and Rembrandt may be the most famous Dutch painters. Okay, sadly, I have nothing in common with either of them.

My, it’s been so interesting investigating since my DNA results have come back!

Mother’s Day is Coming!

As Mother’s Day approaches, dozens of mother/daughter articles and artifacts are appearing on the horizon. The pressure is on.

Each year, we are inundated with more and more attempts to identify the perfect mother/daughter combinations and celebrate those who have the best mother/daughter/son relationships. I notice people “one upping” each other as to the remarkable mothers they have now on social media. Famous mother/daughter duos are featured in magazines.

This holiday can not generate competition. The playing field is even.

Every mother is a super hero in her own way.

From my childhood, there are plenty of mother memories that warm my heart and equally as many that send blood curdling shivers through my body, causing me to wonder how my mom lived through having me as her daughter.

WHY Does NO have Such a Bad Rap?

I was speaking last week to a group of young moms of pre-schoolers (MOPS). After I finished, a young woman came up to question my philosophy of teaching children the meaning of the word NO before they are a year old. I suggest consequences to make a small toddler obey his/her parents. Usually, it takes only two or three events before you have an obedient, respectful child!

No more yelling, threats, punishments or guilt.

This young mom had tears in her eyes as she described her 3-year old daughter as an adorable, fun-loving child to whom she has never given consequences. She has never told her NO because she doesn’t need to. “My little girl doesn’t obey me all the time; but, I honestly don’t think she understands it is disobeying. I would never want to squelch her free, creative spirit.”

I asked if her daughter comes when she calls her name. “Well, sometimes,” she smiled as though it was funny, “But, she is an absolute joy.”

I asked if she would respond to her mom’s voice in an emergency- maybe a warning about a hot stove, an oncoming car or a stranger who would attempt to grab her?

Her eyes widened…

My Dad Saved My Life!

I was probably 10 years old when our parents announced we were going on our first camping trip as a family. I believe we borrowed a very large tent, if memory serves me right; because, I never saw it again after that trip. My brother was allowed to take a friend so, counting my sister and me, there would be six of us in close sleeping quarters.

I remember getting brand new sleeping bags and helping mom with meal ideas. We had a large new cooler, for storing our food, and the Sequoia National Park campsite furnished the barbeque stove and picnic table.

This was going to be a trip of a lifetime! We had never been camping as a family.  I was so excited I could hardly sleep for days before our trip.

We drove, what seemed like forever, until we finally arrived at our destination. Our tent was pitched close to a creek!! Could this vacation get any better? Within minutes our shoes were off and we were wading in the ice cold water by the campsite.

Everything was going perfectly, until it was time to go to the bathroom.

Can Your Temperament CHANGE?

“Is it possible my TEENAGER’S temperament has changed?”

My first response: “A temperament is a pre-disposition.  A person is born with primarily two dominant temperament types (out of four) – and they are his/hers for life.”

A temperament can certainly take on different appearances, however, depending on age, living conditions, changes in life and various situations. The temperament does not change. BUT, one may notice new behavior, because circumstances have changed.

The most important information to remember-temperaments are transformed when you include God in the equation!

Each temperament has positive and negative characteristics.  So, when God takes over a temperament, He evens out the negatives and enhances the positives, using their finest qualities for His Glory. God created us, and our temperaments; therefore, it makes perfect sense to give Him the reigns if we want successful lives!

The mom, who prompted this post, asked me, “Now that my sweet daughter is a teenager, she is suddenly belligerent! She has turned into a totally different person. She refuses to talk to, or acknowledge, me or her dad because we have new cell phone rules in the house! Has her temperament changed?”

God has a PLAN for every Life!

I prefer living in a fantasy world. It is more fun. As a child, I loved reading fiction. I grew up dreaming and pretending, because my childhood seemed boring and uneventful. Nancy Drew Mysteries filled my days with excitement!

By high school, I had read every Grace Livingston Hill book in our school library. I was determined to grow up experiencing thrilling romance, and of course, meeting the Christian man of my dreams. We would have beautiful children, buy our dream home and live happily ever after.

I accepted Jesus into my heart as a small child, but never gave much thought to God having a PLAN for my life.

A Child is Watching You!

One of “my kids,” who grew up in musical theatre as a small child, made a point to say good-bye to me the weekend he left for college. I was leaving church, out the side door to make a quick getaway, and he surprised me with a big hug as I came around the corner.

“I knew I’d see you if I came to this side door, he smiled, “You always went out this way when you were in a rush to leave church.”

“Seriously? You knew that about me?”

“Yes,” he said, almost blushing as he stood over 6 feet tall now. “Miss Kathleen, you were my favorite teacher.  I watched every move you made for most the years I was growing up in this church.”

Hoping he had no stalker tendencies, I questioned, “Can I ask you why?”

“Sure, because you were one of the people who I knew loved me; and, I watched everything you did.”

Whoa. I never knew that.

The rest of that afternoon I walked around the house, doing my Sunday afternoon routine stuff, wondering what ELSE he might have seen me do.

December Did Not Go As Planned…

Going into the holidays, I usually have a perfect picture in my mind of how things will play out. I absolutely love Christmas! In the past, hitting the ground running as soon as the Thanksgiving dinner is cleared away, I know exactly what I need to accomplish each day to complete the December of my dreams!

no-christmas-tree-crossed-out-t-shirts-women-s-ringer-t-shirt

Every year, there is a new theme for decorating and, this year, Silver Bells were ready to don our home! I come up with lofty goals- including Christmas decorations, parties, presents, productions, guests and food – all falling into place within my anticipated timetable.

The first week in December, however, life threw us a big curve. Our son-in-law, in the middle of producing a huge Christmas program, was in a very serious accident.

Temperaments: GREEN EMOTIONS!

You have heard me say GREEN temperaments are the nicest people in the world. It is the truest statement that can be made about this temperament! They are nice and quiet.

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I am blessed with a GREEN child, children-in-law, grandchildren, friends and BEST friends. I gravitate toward GREEN temperaments, because, they seem to enjoy life more that most. GREENS also calm me down and fill me with peace in crazy situations.

My dad was a GREEN temperament.  In my entire life, he never raised his voice to me!  I guarantee you, I gave him plenty of reasons to do so; but, he was the kindest person I ever knew.