“Is it possible my TEENAGER’S temperament has changed?”
My first response: “A temperament is a pre-disposition. A person is born with primarily two dominant temperament types (out of four) – and they are his/hers for life.”
A temperament can certainly take on different appearances, however, depending on age, living conditions, changes in life and various situations. The temperament does not change. BUT, one may notice new behavior, because circumstances have changed.
The most important information to remember-temperaments are transformed when you include God in the equation!
Each temperament has positive and negative characteristics. So, when God takes over a temperament, He evens out the negatives and enhances the positives, using their finest qualities for His Glory. God created us, and our temperaments; therefore, it makes perfect sense to give Him the reigns if we want successful lives!
The mom, who prompted this post, asked me, “Now that my sweet daughter is a teenager, she is suddenly belligerent! She has turned into a totally different person. She refuses to talk to, or acknowledge, me or her dad because we have new cell phone rules in the house! Has her temperament changed?”
I prefer living in a fantasy world. It is more fun. As a child, I loved reading fiction. I grew up dreaming and pretending, because my childhood seemed boring and uneventful. Nancy Drew Mysteries filled my days with excitement!
By high school, I had read every Grace Livingston Hill book
in our school library. I was determined to grow up experiencing thrilling romance, and of course, meeting the Christian man of my dreams. We would have beautiful children, buy our dream home and live happily ever after.
I accepted Jesus into my heart as a small child, but never gave much thought to God having a PLAN for my life.
One of “my kids,” who grew up in musical theatre as a small child, made a point to say good-bye to me the weekend he left for college. I was leaving church, out the side door to make a quick getaway, and he surprised me with a big hug as I came around the corner.
“I knew I’d see you if I came to this side door, he smiled, “You always went out this way when you were in a rush to leave church.”
“Seriously? You knew that about me?”
“Yes,” he said, almost blushing as he stood over 6 feet tall now. “Miss Kathleen, you were my favorite teacher. I watched every move you made for most the years I was growing up in this church.”
Hoping he had no stalker tendencies, I questioned, “Can I ask you why?”
“Sure, because you were one of the people who I knew loved me; and, I watched everything you did.”
Whoa. I never knew that.
The rest of that afternoon I walked around the house, doing my Sunday afternoon routine stuff, wondering what ELSE he might have seen me do.
I love kids. They fascinate me.
We were surrounded by kids this past weekend. We love it when our ten grandchildren are together in our home; but, this time there were three young cousins in the mix. Our nephew, and his family of five from Sacramento, was visiting also.
I have been tempted to set up a video surveillance camera system for occasions such as this to prove my “temperament” assessments as you watch thirteen children interact.
Out of four total temperaments, the two strongest are RED and YELLOW. They are most recognizable by being loud, bossy and in charge. We had seven, out of 13, in this category.
The remaining six are BLUE and GREEN. They assist, cooperate and enjoy following the leaders. These adorable kids seemed to enjoy the louder ones – each one letting the others BE who they are! (One, at 10 months, appears to be a quiet, sweet, happy GREEN.)
I wish I had been more aware of temperaments when our children were young. It certainly would have been easier to parent them. Our three kids have a combination of all four temperaments.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Valentine’s Day should have something to do with love…and smiles.
We were out of laundry detergent. I realized I needed a certain article of clothing washed for the next morning. I was seriously bummed. This meant another trip to the store. Already exhausted from the days chores, I remember thinking, Oh Lord what should I do? It wasn’t really a prayer- but, it could have been. I was putting on my shoes, as the mail arrived. How long has it been since YOU have gotten a sample laundry detergent in the mail?? Years! There it was – THE BRAND we use!
Wow, I felt loved.
You know those times you see or read something that unexpectedly takes your breath away?
I’ll admit, it has been a stressful couple of months.
I have no idea where my thought process was headed this morning; but, when I read today’s Bible verse of the day www.biblegateway.com as it popped up on my computer screen, I felt like the weight of the world was lifted from my life – literally!
“O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help.” Ps.86:5
I read it again.
I am certain I’ve read this verse before. After all, it is in the Psalms and, at some point in my Sunday School past, Psalms was required reading! I probably have a “completed Psalms” badge somewhere in some bottom drawer.
God has unfailing love for all who ask for His help!
In December we desperately asked God for help when our son-in-law was in a serious accident. God performed miracles and Bob is on the road to complete healing. (Thank you for your prayers!)
I know I have prayed for help many times in my life.
However, this morning, the “so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help” words jumped out at me as if for the first time ever.
Going into the holidays, I usually have a perfect picture in my mind of how things will play out. I absolutely love Christmas! In the past, hitting the ground running as soon as the Thanksgiving dinner is cleared away, I know exactly what I need to accomplish each day to complete the December of my dreams!
Every year, there is a new theme for decorating and, this year, Silver Bells were ready to don our home! I come up with lofty goals- including Christmas decorations, parties, presents, productions, guests and food – all falling into place within my anticipated timetable.
The first week in December, however, life threw us a big curve. Our son-in-law, in the middle of producing a huge Christmas program, was in a very serious accident.
You have heard me say GREEN temperaments are the nicest people in the world. It is the truest statement that can be made about this temperament! They are nice and quiet.
I am blessed with a GREEN child, children-in-law, grandchildren, friends and BEST friends. I gravitate toward GREEN temperaments, because, they seem to enjoy life more that most. GREENS also calm me down and fill me with peace in crazy situations.
My dad was a GREEN temperament. In my entire life, he never raised his voice to me! I guarantee you, I gave him plenty of reasons to do so; but, he was the kindest person I ever knew.
Hang on, this segment will be a wild ride explaining the YELLOW temperament’s EMOTIONS!
The two strongest and loudest temperaments are RED and YELLOW. We discussed the RED, in my last post. Now, I will attempt to portray the YELLOW’s emotions – being as impartial as possible.
I am a YELLOW/RED.
A YELLOW’S emotions go WAY up, then WAY down, then sideways and back up again! That describes how I feel some mornings before getting out of bed!
YELLOWS are vivaciously expressive. They enjoy life to the fullest. YELLOWS usually wear their emotions on their sleeves- being the most dramatically animated temperament of all four. When emotions are up, they hope the world will join in their celebrations. When emotions are down, they expect the world to feel their pain as severely as they!
YELLOWS equal DRAMA!
In this episode of the Real FAMILY Podcast, Roz and Kathleen Chapman are continuing the conversation about tantrums and misbehavior (at any age). If you missed Part 1, check it out here.